Number 71

On December 20th, I posted my 70th blog post. That's right. Seven. Zero. 

When I started this blog back in May of this year, I didn't really know what form it was going to take. I set about creating it in order to tell the story. 

What story? The story of Brain Fit Academy. The story of what it means to be a part of the company-  both from a parent's point of view as well as a Brain Fit Coach. The story of what it feels like to go through the program as a parent. The story of what it feels like to go through as a coach.

Brain Fit is one of those things that's hard to explain. Ask any of the coaches, parents or Pam Formosa (the owner). It's hard to explain what we do and it's even harder to explain the feeling behind it all. Hence- my blog. Telling the world (or at least whoever would like to read my posts!) about Brain Fit Academy. Telling the world what we do, what we teach, explaining the "why" of the company, and helping those that aren't living it- to understand us. Understand us- even if it's only a little bit better. 

Those are the reasons I started this blog, and this is where I stand now- at post number 71. 

And so? For post number 71, and to wrap up the year of 2020, I would like to highlight some of my favorite posts in this blog. 

Some are favorites because of what they stand for. Some are favorites because of the information they contain. And some, are favorites simply because I like the way I communicated. You decide which ones you like. 

And, of course- you are always welcome to explore the others posts that I didn't highlight because one of those may resonate particularly strongly with you. If that's the case? Great! Shoot me an email and let me know because I'd love to hear from you.

So- here goes. My favorite posts of 2020:

The Smiles are the Reward: "The smiles all around are what melted my heart.  The smiles all around are what made me know that I needed to continue with this work.  The smiles are what brought tears of joy to my eyes."

It's Not About Me- But it WAS About Me: "As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I came to Brain Fit because of my son, but the (unexpected) side-effect that happened is that I also changed."

There's Smiles, but There's Also Tears: "Those tears, that need to let go- was reached that day.  It opened the door to integrating the Fear Paralysis reflex, and it was the turning point in his treatment."

You Don't Know What you Don't Know: "Again- dumb-struck.  Why on Earth is this information not disseminated to every school, teacher, OT, pre-school and day care?"

The Big Green Ball: "But, you see- that ball, that seemingly magical ball was my all-time favorite "prop" (for lack of a better word) for using with Brain Fit Clients."

Primal: "Her mother was working so hard against something that is primal. In fact, it's one of the most primitive responses humans have- the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response."

You Can Change the Story: "Today, I sit in a different place in my life, and am coming at this idea from another, different, perspective.  I am looking at the ability to "change the story" from the perspective of a Brain Fit Academy coach."

The Body Knows-it Just Might Need a Reminder: "When we start working with clients, it's like we "jump-start" the reflexes again.  We jump-start them with intentional movements and activities and play."

I Want to Shout it From the Rooftops: "It's not a new kitchen gadget. It's not a new fad diet. It's a way to change your life."

My Why: "Being a coach, and the passion for my work are because I want to help kids and families be happier.  I want to help them find their smiles. I want them to enjoy the time they spend together as a family. I want the kids to feel happier in their skin and I want the parents to feel less stressed."

Breakthroughs: "But one of the many things that I love about the approach we take at Brain Fit is that we can work others (or ourselves) through strong emotions and feelings without having to talk about them. We literally can move through emotions by setting an intention (a goal) and moving our bodies using different movement activities."

Out of the Loop: "And the inside? Well, here is where the magic is supposed to happen. You see, inside the loop is where (ideally) we want to spend our time."

The Baby Brain: "Well you see, that green part of the brain- the emotional brain- is where that "swirling storm inside" might happen. We talk to kids (and adults alike) about how sometimes we get "stuck" in that green part of the brain. We get stuck in that emotional brain and it becomes the "swirling storm inside".

It's Mom's Turn: "Wow. Have you known many places that you take your children to and they say to you- "Hey mom? Maybe today should be about you!"

Thankful: "In this crazy year of 2020, amidst a pandemic that threw the world into chaos, I am thinking about tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day and all that I am thankful for in regards to Brain Fit Academy"

I Hear and I Forget: "You see, at Brain Fit, we are doers. We are movers and experiencers and noticers. We teach our clients how to move (intentionally) and experience and notice."

Resilience: "Since being involved with Brain Fit Academy- first with my son and then as a Brain Fit coach, I feel like I now have the capability to go beyond coping and have become much more resilient."

Well- there you are. My favorite posts of this year. Read what draws your attention. Explore other posts if you want.

Enjoy- and I'll see you in 2021 with number 72.

Looking Ahead

I think it would be safe to say that most of us start a new year with anticipation of what is ahead. It may be thoughts on how we want to start healthier habits, or maybe we have plans to begin a new hobby or to work on self-care.

Either way, I think that everyone reading this would probably agree that this year- 2020- did not go the way we anticipated, and it certainly isn't really ending much better either.

Now, I could sit here and tell you that "everything happens for a reason" and "it will all work out in the end". And I believe both of those things- really, I do- don't get me wrong.

But here's the thing. Instead of saying those things to you- I'm going to say this instead:

"Look ahead".

Look ahead to what 2021 can bring. Look ahead to the next day, or week or month and the wonder and joy that it has in store. 

Look ahead to all the opportunities, the new friends, the fun and the learning that can take place in a year. 

Look ahead with the thought that maybe all the changes that took place in 2020 were there to serve a purpose. There to move you- me- society- the world- everyone into a different place. A different place where we all needed to be and didn't know it.

Just like when I first started my journey at Brain Fit Academy, and I was working on myself- I didn't know I needed it. 

I didn't know I was lost. 

I didn't know there was more to be had because all I knew was what I knew. 

What if...2020- with all its heartache, loss, trials and tribulations was really here to prepare us to look ahead. To prepare us to look into the new that can be. To help us feel more comfortable with what put us out of our comfort zone before. To help us turn inward- to our families, our friends, and ourselves. 

For me, 2020 was a year of tremendous growth. I am in a place in my life that I never imagined a few years ago. Some of that growth stemmed from the events of 2020, and some didn't. But regardless, I have grown.

Did 2020 turn out the way I wanted it to? My answer is yes. And no. 

Am I where I want to be in life as 2020 comes to a close? Yes. And no.

What I am doing now though? 

What I'm doing, and where I'm looking- is ahead. 

I'm looking forward to 2021 and what I am planning for myself. 

I'm looking forward to continuing the amazing work with clients at Brain Fit. 

I'm looking forward to teaching new classes and sharing this knowledge that has become almost second nature to me. 

I'm looking forward- looking ahead to the magic that 2021 has in store for me, and you, and for Brain Fit Academy. 

2020 is almost behind us and it's time. It's time to put it to rest and take all that we have learned (and lived) with us into this new year. Moving us along- moving us forward. Moving us into what is to be- and embracing that. 

Goodbye- 2020. Hello 2021. 

"Look Ahead".

Puzzle Pieces

Primitive Reflexes. If you follow this blog of mine you know that we address unintegrated (not finished) primitive reflexes at Brain Fit Academy. 

But in case you aren't familiar, or you need a refresher- primitive reflexes are hard- wired, early motor patterns that all babies go through. Directed by the brainstem, they are automatic, stereotyped movements. They happen without consciously doing them. Baby turns their head a certain way? Reflex kicks in. Sensory input that is possible danger? Reflex kicks in- and that's just a few examples.

These reflexes exist for four reasons:

• Protection
• Facilitation of the development of our sensory systems
• Facilitation of our ability to be comfortable in our bodies
• Facilitation of motor development

Now when primitive reflexes haven't fully integrated (finished) in the first few years of life, a child/adult is left with a primitive nervous system and primitive ways to deal with stress. And, depending on the specific reflex, those same people can also have challenges such as anxiety, learning challenges, balance and coordination difficulties and trouble with reading, writing and focusing. 

Ok, Amy. Thanks for the reminder about primitive reflexes. Can you get to the part about the puzzle pieces now??

Of course- so here's the deal with puzzle pieces:

At Brain Fit, we look at the reflexes as a puzzle. In fact we call them "Reflex Puzzles". 

And more specifically, we look at the reflexes as a series of puzzle pieces- 30 total, broken up into three parts:

• Emerged: When the reflex first shows up. It emerges as a neuro pathway. 10 puzzle pieces.
• Developed: When enough of the reflex movement happened to move it along. 10 more puzzle pieces.
• Integrated: When the reflex "finishes". Enough movement happened to make the reflex "dormant" and has made way for more sophisticated movements to take its place. The last 10 puzzle pieces.

30 puzzle pieces. Broken down to make it easier to track. You see, when we work with our clients we want to have a gauge of where the reflex is on its specific timeline. That way, we can see where we started and when the reflex has "finished" or integrated.  

How do we know where the reflex is on that timeline of 30 puzzle pieces? 

That's where muscle checking comes in. We use muscle checking to get information direct from the source- the person we are working with.

Now, we may not muscle check the reflex every time we work with the client- but that's ok. It's ok because the body knows. The body remembers where it is on those timelines and will give us accurate information when we need it. Read this previous blog post if you'd like a little more information about that- or about muscle checking. Trust me- it's worth the read. 

Thinking about the reflexes as puzzle pieces helps the children to understand what it is we're doing- solving the puzzle of their body (of their reflexes) and what might be missing. It also helps us (as coaches) to keep track and show the client and/or their parents. It's a concrete way to keep track of the progress as we do the work. 

Puzzles are fun to do, and reflexes puzzles are fun too. We do the Primitive Reflex Integration work, we see progress and we monitor it along that timeline of 30 pieces.

And when a reflex is integrated? It's always fun to hear a client say:

"YES! I finished another one!!"

Resilience

Resilience. It seems to be one of the many buzz words going around these days- but what does that really mean?

By definition, resilient means "Able to withstand or recover from difficult conditions."  In other words- deal with, and/or be able to bounce back when bad stuff happens. Fall seven times- stand up eight.

Since being a part of Brain Fit Academy, I've learned how to be resilient. I've learned what that means. I truly think that before Brain Fit, I didn't know what it meant to be resilient. I went about my days hoping, trying to figure stuff out. I worked hard to recover from situations but when they just kept coming up, I wouldn't say that I glided through them with resiliency. I never really withstood difficulties easily. I didn't "bounce back". I didn't fall seven and stand up eight. Instead, I felt like I fell down seven, and eight, and nine- and then maybe stood up at ten. But it seemed like I never bounced back for long. I wasn't being resilient, I was coping.

Since being involved with Brain Fit Academy- first with my son and then as a Brain Fit coach, I feel like I now have the capability to go beyond coping and have become much more resilient. 

How did that happen? 

It happened by learning. It happened by learning about how the brain works so that I can better understand "emotional storms". It happened by learning tools that help me to get "back in the loop". It happened by learning about how movement can help the brain and body move through difficult situations. 

Now having said all that, am I saying that I would call myself resilient 100% of the time? Heck no- but would we expect anyone to be anything 100% of the time? I know I certainly don't expect that because that would be asking for perfection and no one is perfect- no one.

We don't need to be perfect, but we can be more resilient. We can be more resilient overall and still need our support system. It's ok to lean on friends and family during hard times. After all, that's why we have them in our lives! I know that sometimes it feels like it might take too much effort, or we might feel like we just want to wallow in our own dismay for a little while. That's ok, because we're only human after all!

It's at times like that when we bring in our support system. Friends and family are there to help be our strength- our "rock" when it's hard for us to be one for ourselves. They can help us stand up on the eighth time (or maybe even before) when we get stuck on the floor and can't find our feet. They help us to remember that we have tools when we can't remember for ourselves. They may even use the tools right along with us. 

And as a Brain Fit coach? I would like to think that my clients consider me part of their support system. I can help them stand up on the eighth time. I can help them remember their tools. I can help them remember that yes, indeed they are resilient and will get through it. 

Resilience is something you can learn. It's something that others can help you with. It's something that will help you ten-fold in situations where you may have fallen seven times and need to stand up on the eighth.

Don't be afraid of the eighth stand up. 

And if you can't find your feet? Contact us at Brain Fit. We'll hold your hand, pull you up and teach you tools so that you can do it more easily on your own the next time.

Resiliency.

Time

Time is an obscure concept, isn't it? We expect kids to understand the passage of time and when they don't, it's hard for us to understand. Well, at least I found it hard to understand.

For the longest time, my son had trouble understanding time, and the passage of it. He didn't understand how long it would take him to do things. He didn't understand how time was measurable and that you could use it to help guide you through a task or through your day. He knew how to tell time, well mostly anyway- but he didn't have a sense of time. 

That sense of time is what was the hardest part because he wasn't able to gauge how long it would take to put on his shoes, or how long he needed to get ready for bed on time. He also struggled with waiting. Waiting was really hard and I think that it had a lot to do with the fact that he didn't understand the passage of time. It's like asking someone to wait forever- when really it's a short period of time. But- to someone that doesn't understand the passage of time it might feel like forever. Waiting for a few minutes doesn't feel like just a few minutes- and so it's SO hard to do!

Now you may be wondering what this has to do with Brain Fit Academy. Well-what is interesting is that many kids who come to us also have trouble with time- with understanding the passage of time. I know it has a lot to do with the lack of Executive Functioning skills that these kids have. 

If you aren't familiar with the term, Executive Functions are the skills of planning, monitoring behavior, attention to detail, organizing, etc. and the part of the brain responsible for those Executive Functions is called the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is what we think of as the "highest level" of the brain. The last part of the "thinking brain" to develop. And since it is way up there in the "thinking brain", we have to build the neuropathways from the "baby brain" (brain stem) (where the primitive reflexes are housed) up to the thinking brain, and then eventually to the prefrontal cortex. It's entirely possible that building those pathways and "reorganizing" the brain might take awhile. And so- we often teach kids compensations (such as marking out time on a clock) to help them learn while we work to integrate the reflexes. Watch this video that Pam created about this if you're interested in learning about that strategy.

Just recently however, in the last primitive reflex class I was teaching, we got into an interesting discussion related to time and how it relates to the reflexes. One of the participants is a preschool teacher, and I was teaching everyone about the Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex (TLR). A few of the potential effects of an unintegrated (not finished) TLR are poor sense of time and poor sequencing skills. 

Poor sense of time- see? There it is. This teacher was asking me if that could be why some of her preschool students take so long to eat. They just don't know how long it takes to eat and take way longer than other's the same age. While it's entirely possible there are other reasons, if that symptom was coupled with others from the TLR list, then it definitely could have something to do with it! So not only could that difficulty with understanding the passage of time be related directly with an underdevelopment in the frontal lobe- but it could also be directly related to an unintegrated reflex- the TLR. It makes perfect sense-poor sense of time and also poor sequencing skills. When you stop to think about it, what is time really? It's a sequence of course! A sequence of minutes and hours and days and years. No wonder kids with an unintegrated TLR also can have trouble with that sense of time!

Like I said, time is such an obscure concept. But, like so many other things we think about at Brain Fit- when we look at it from a different lens- as an immaturity in the brain, we find the root cause and then we can work to change it.

One thing I know for sure is that as we do this work, kids find it easier to understand the passage of time. It worked for my son, and it works for others too. Time becomes less obscure and more understood, and it's pretty cool to see it happen!

I Hear and I Forget

You've probably heard the famous saying above. If you're a teacher, it might have even been part of your teacher training. It's one that always stuck with me as a teacher, and it sticks with me even more in my job at Brain Fit Academy.

Last weekend I taught the second part of our Primitive Reflex Integration class. I taught it online due to us being in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. But as Pam Formosa (owner/director of Brain fit) and I were planning in order to move this class online, one of the main things that we wanted to do was to keep the class as experiential as possible.

You see, at Brain Fit, we are doers. We are movers and experiencers and noticers. We teach our clients how to move (intentionally) and experience and notice. We experience our reflexes, we experience what it's like to do intentional movement, and we experience what it's like to see positive change. 

I hear and I forget.

I see and I remember. 

I do and I understand.  

I do and I understand. I experience and I understand. I experience and I understand because I was able to feel what it was like. I experience and I understand because I was able to feel what it was like when something changed. Or I experience and I understand because I make connections to myself- or to my family members, or to those I work with.

At the reflex class, I was helping people experience. I was helping the participants to learn the reflexes, but then experience them as well. Experience them through discussion. Experience through practicing them. Experience them through trying out some of the movements for themselves.

Now, was all of that easy over a video conference? No. Did we make it work? Yes. Would I like my participants to have had even more time "do-ing"? More time experiencing? Absolutely! 

But ultimately- ultimately?? We maintained the integrity of what Brain Fit stands for. We maintained the integrity of the class and brought "doing" to the participants. We brought doing and understanding to a great group that came (from across the country!) to join me online for an amazing journey of ah-ha moments and personal connections. We maintained what we stand for- the "I do and I understand" part of Brain Fit.

I am eternally grateful to be part of a company that brings such amazing learning, and teaching and doing into this world.

I may hear, and forget. I may see, and remember, but when I do- I understand.

And at Brain Fit Academy? 

I understand.....

Tune Up

Need a tune up?- and no, I'm not talking about the car type of tune up. I'm talking about a Brain Fit tune up.

If you read my blog post titled The (Last) Day, you will know that at Brain Fit Academy, we don't want to see clients forever. As a Brain Fit coach, that includes me- I don't want to see clients forever. I want there to be a "last day" when my client is ready to fly on their own.

However, we always have "tune-ups". And they can be a great thing.

You know when you go to a "traditional" OT or PT? Isn't it commonplace that you work with the person for awhile, until you resolve whatever issues you were having in the first place. Then you leave, right? Have you ever had someone like that say- "Hey, you're welcome to come back any time for a tune-up!". 

Um...maybe you have, but I have not. In my experience (and I've had my share of them because of my son or because of my own personal injuries) when you finish, you finish. "Congratulations, you're done and can move on with life!" sort of thing.

Not at Brain Fit Academy. Our clients (and parents!) are always welcome to come for a "tune up" session even if one of the coaches doesn't see them regularly anymore. 

Why is that? Why are we different from other people in the field? Well, for one, we understand that the sort of work we do can be useful for anyone- from kids all the way through adults. We also understand that everyone has times in their lives that are more stressful, or trying and that people need support. Even, if it's just for one session to "tune up" and get back on track.

When I (or the other coaches) finish with a client, when the time comes for their last day- we let the parents know that they are always welcome to come for a tune up session. All they have to do is get in touch. Yup- that's it- just get in touch! 

What if the client finished with Brain Fit a few months ago- are we available for tune ups? Yes, yes we are.

What about if the client finished with Brain Fit a year ago? Yes, then too.

We don't go away just because the client "finished" with regular sessions. We understand (and know!) that things come up. We understand that kids have goals in their life that they need help working through. We understand that parents can still struggle, even when they were feeling good when we "finished" with their child.

Tune up sessions are a way to get back on track.

Tune up sessions are a way to reconnect with the Brain Fit Community.

Tune up sessions are a way to be reminded of the tools/strategies taught during the 1:1 sessions.

Tune up sessions are a way to get help moving forward in life.

Tune ups don't mean you have to start up regular weekly sessions again. They also aren't an indicator of failure on anyone's part. 

Tune ups are just that- tune ups. Just like your car- and yes, now I am talking about your car! Tune up your car- tune up your brain and body. They both should happen regularly- just to keep things flowing/moving smoothly.

So, if you're a former Brain Fit client (or your child is) don't forget about tune ups. We're ready for you any time. And if you're not a Brain Fit client yet? Well, just know that tune ups will be available for you at some point too.

We don't forget about our clients when they leave Brain Fit. 

We don't say "Good Bye". We say "See you later- when you need a tune up."