No Tricks, Just Treats

Today is Halloween. Of 2020. Need I say more? One could probably say that this whole year has been a trick, rather than a treat, right? 

But speaking of tricks, I wanted to talk about disbelief-about tricks- in terms of what we do at Brain Fit Academy. 

I remember when I first saw the presentation about Primitive Reflexes. I documented my experience in the post titled "You Don't Know What You Don't Know", if you're interested in reading more about that day. While watching that presentation, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Seriously, for a second I thought that it was a "trick"- that Primitive Reflex Integration couldn't possibly be a real thing, could it? 

I was so awestruck that I had never heard of it before- not even a whisper. And yet- and YET! it made so much sense and connected so many dots for me in regards to my son. In that short presentation we were given an overview of the three parts of the brain, the basics of Primitive Reflex Integration, and briefly how it can affect kids (and adults). Pam Formosa (the owner/director of Brain Fit) told her story- about how her life changed from this work. And again, I thought-is this a "trick"? It all just sounded too good to be true!

I listened intently though-and as you probably know by now- I ended up signing up my son for the program and now am a coach for Brain Fit myself.

No tricks. Just treats.

This work is not a trick. It's a real thing. It makes changes to the lives of kids and families. We make changes, the families and the coaches- together as a team. 

Primitive Reflex Integration and the other work we do a Brain Fit Academy is one of the greatest "non-tricks" I have ever seen. Everywhere I go I want to Shout it From the Rooftops because I am continually awed at the changes I see in my clients.

Every so often, I stop to think about my clients and where we started. It's easy to forget sometimes- where we started and where we're at now. The changes happen gradually, so I consciously think back to the beginning to remember. And wow, sometimes I just can't believe it! Here are some recent examples:

• The six year old who would hide behind her mother and literally flee the room if I even brought out one of the reflex cards we use with the exercises on them. Now, she willingly picks from the activities on the card (or from other activities in folders we use) and is quite happy to do them with me. Not to mention the drastic reduction in fear responses her family has seen in her day-to-day life as well as other changes related to the reflex integration.

• The twelve year old that didn't "know" where his feet were when I first started with him. And now- his balance, coordination and proprioceptive sense is incredibly improved- as is his attention, focus and organization. 

• The ten year old that struggled with anxiety and within about 9 months was able to go on a two-day overnight class trip with his school. He said goodbye to his mother and didn't even look back. 

No tricks, just treats. 

The stories of clients that come through Brain Fit are filled with all kinds of wonderful, amazing, inspiring stories that are full of treats.

Primitive Reflex Integration is real. It's a sweet treat that I wish more people knew about and were able to experience. 

Spread the word- would you?

What's Next?

At Brain Fit, we don't want our clients to stay forever. We want there to be a last day. But that also begs the question- what's next? Once you finish integrating the reflexes, is that it? Is that when the last day happens?

Well, it's been my experience that the answer is- "no". 

Well, "yes". 

Well, "maybe". 

You see everyone who comes to Brain Fit is so different. And since everyone is so different and everyone's treatment plan is so individualized, it's hard to answer the question of "what's next?". 

Some clients start at Brain Fit with so many primitive reflexes not integrated (not finished) that it takes awhile to work through those. They are motor patterns remember and we integrate them with movement. So there are many clients that don't need a "what's next" until they have integrated the majority of the reflexes.

On the other hand, we might have a client that starts off a little further down the line with the reflexes. Or, they are a little older (tween or teen perhaps) that can move through the reflexes that still need integrating and may be ready for the "what's next" sooner. But- again, everyone is different so take what I just said at face value. We never really know exactly when the "what's next" will come- until it's there.

So- enough with the build up because I want to get to the meat of what the "what's next" might look like. 

In my blog posts I've talked a lot about topics we teach clients. We teach them about The Baby Brain. We teach them about the Learning Loop. We teach them about the reflexes, and we teach them tools so that they are ready for that "last day" with us. 

However, as I keep saying- everyone is different. And so, we have some kids that when we teach them about these things it may not fully sink in as well as we would like it to. Or we have others that are just so deep into the Fight/Flight/Freeze response that they can't access the material the first time around.

That's where the "what's next?" starts to play a role. You see, as the person gets closer to the reflexes being integrated (or they have finished integrating them) all of that teaching can happen again. 

This time in what we sometimes refer to as a "level up". It's like they've reached the next level in the game and are ready for the next steps. Are we teaching them the exact same thing again? Possibly. Or, we start where we left off and are able to go deeper into the content.

Once the reflexes are integrated, the pathways in the brain open up and the child is able to access the "Thinking Brain" much easier. Therefore, allowing the knowledge to have a much deeper impact.

What else might we teach or do in that "what's next?" phase? Well, we work more on helping kids to help themselves. We can solidify knowledge- like the Brain Gym® movements and help kids to know when are good times to use them.

We can teach them more about "noticing" and how to use that skill to help on a day-to-day basis. We can continue to work on strengthening their proprioceptive and vestibular systems. And we can generally continue on with the work of helping the child and family. 

Helping them to be better versions of themselves. 

These "what's next", "leveled up" sessions might look and feel a little different from earlier Brain Fit sessions. But- believe you me, they can be just as powerful- if not more-so.  

As I said, we don't want clients to stay with us forever. But, we do like it when they stick around for "what's next". 

We like it because we have more to teach them, and they have more that they can learn. 

And all of it- is great.

It's Mom's Turn

My son's Brain Fit session was about to start and his coach asked "How's it going?"-like she usually did at the beginning of each session. 

As I choked back tears, I replied "(My son's name) is doing fine, but I'm barely holding it together."

It was the that time of the school year when his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting would soon be taking place. I have always disliked that time of year because it can be very stressful and this time was no exception. Advocating and fighting for your child's needs is something that can certainly cause wear and tear on a person's emotional state. Especially when it has to be done time after time, year after year. It's emotionally (and physically) exhausting!

In response to my answer, our coach suggested that maybe that day's session should be for me instead of my son. 

"We can do that?" I asked. 

"Absolutely, of course!" was the answer.

Wow. Have you known many places that you take your children to and they say to you- "Hey mom? Maybe today should be about you!"

No?

Yeah, me neither. Until Brain Fit Academy. 

You know the saying "Put your oxygen mask on first"? Well- sometimes you have to look at that way. I mean, if you truly were in a plane that didn't have enough oxygen and you needed to help your child, would it do any good to put their mask on and risk you losing consciousness before you were able to help them?

Although not quite the same, taking care of a child with needs (greater than the typical child) is like going without oxygen for a little bit. The stress builds up, the worry builds up, the emotional and physical(!) tension build up.

Sometimes, mom needs to put her oxygen mask on first. Mom (yes, Dad- you are welcome too, but typically it is mom) needs a session for herself. Mom needs help to cope with what is happening in her life in order to best help her child and her family. Oxygen.mask.on.

Here's the hard part though, because I know what you might be thinking. You may be thinking- but Amy, I can't put myself first. I came here for my child! I paid for sessions for my child, not for me. They come first.

Oxygen.mask.off. Child not getting full "mom". Child getting the mom with her oxygen running low. Child getting the mom who's barely making it through the day. Barely keeping her head above water. Barely surviving (in the emotional sense of the word).

I get it. I totally do. But listen- sometimes what is best is to put yourself first. It's ok to say to your child- "Today mom gets to do Brain Fit- isn't that cool?" 

And you know who will benefit from that? You, yes of course, but also your child. And also your family and others around you. Get that oxygen mask back on and get yourself back into a state so that you can help others with theirs.

It's helpful. It's useful, and it's needed. From time to time- it's needed- just like that oxygen is needed.

And what about me? What happened for me that day? 

I said yes. 

I put my oxygen mask on first and was able to move through the next days, the next week, and my son's IEP meeting!- easier and with a lot less stress and worry.

Oxygen.mask.on. "It's mom's turn".

I See Them Everywhere

You know how once someone points something out to you, you start to notice that thing everywhere? Like if they tell you about a certain street sign or a new type snack food. Once you know about it, you start to find it everywhere you look.

Now, I don't know if that happens more because it's just fresh in your mind so you're looking for it more readily, or if they were really just there all along and you never noticed them before?

I'm like that with Primitive Reflexes. Once I started to learn about the Primitive Reflexes and the symptoms and struggles they can cause, I started seeing kids with unintegrated reflexes everywhere. I would see them in the grocery store, I would see them at the playground, and I would see them at work- oh MAN, would I see them at work!!

For those of you that have been following my blog, you will already know that I am a teacher. I'm currently on a leave-of-absence from my teaching job, but a teacher none-the-less. So of course, I was around a lot of kids- especially in my job as a specialist teacher, I was seeing upwards of 250 kids a week.

250 kids a week. That gave me plenty of time to notice unintegrated reflexes. 

I would see kids coming into my class that couldn't sit on a stool without falling off and I would link it (in my head) to an unintegrated STNR (Symmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex). 

I would see kids with awkward writing positions and could do nothing but think about ATNR (Asymmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex). 

I would see kids coming to my class that would immediately get on the floor and instinctively start doing rhythmic movements with their bodies that help to integrate the TLR (Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex). 

And worst of all, I would see kids that were in full Fight, Flight, or Freeze mode and know that their MORO and/or Fear Paralysis reflexes were (more than likely) not fully integrated.

I would see these kids and start analyzing them in my head. I would make connections to what I saw, to what their classroom teacher saw, and to the Primitive Reflexes. 

I couldn't stop seeing the effects of unintegrated reflexes showing themselves in the myriad of kids that I worked with on a daily basis.

Now, I would like to add here. I'm not saying that every child that has some unintegrated reflexes needs to come to Brain Fit Academy, or that they even need any kind of therapy at all. Many kids (and many adults too!) have reflexes that aren't fully integrated and they get along just fine. 

Maybe they have built up compensations that work for them, or the unintegrated reflex just causes more of an annoyance to everyday life, rather than a disruption. And sometimes- it may just be that the parents of the children just "don't know what they don't know" so although the child may really benefit from Primitive Reflex Integration, the parents just haven't learned about us (or places like us) yet.

But I'm talking about other kids. I'm talking about the ones that struggled every day at school. The ones whose anxiety was so bad that they could barely get through a school day. The ones who were expending so much energy to physically write, or stay on the chair that there "wasn't much left". Those are the kids I'm talking about. Those are the ones I wanted to help. Those are the ones that stood out to me. Those are the ones that I wished I could do more for. Those are the ones that I knew needed Brain Fit Academy. 

I was seeing unintegrated reflexes wherever I looked. I was seeing kids that I knew could benefit from this work and I was ready and willing to help them.

I ended up as a coach at Brain Fit Academy because once I knew about Primitive Reflexes, I couldn't then "un-know" them.

I couldn't "un-know" the reflexes- so instead, I stepped into this job that allowed me to help kids in a way that I didn't know about until I knew it.

And I'm so very glad I did...

Confidence

"I don't know." My 8 year old client replied (with a shrug) when I asked him if he had any ideas for a goal for that day's session. 

This is a common response. I mean, setting goals can be tricky. How many kids sit down and start to think about the things they have trouble with? Probably not many. 

However, setting a goal, or an intention, for a Brain Fit session is important because the work that we do with the nervous system will work better when organized around a goal.

But this post isn't about setting goals. It's one about confidence.

Confidence:

"A feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation 

of one's own abilities or qualities."

Self assurance. 

Arising from one's appreciation...abilities or qualities. 

So confidence comes from feeling good about what you can do, or feeling good about your own unique qualities.

Here's the problem. How many people- be they kids, teens or adults really truly feel good about themselves when they are struggling in life?

Maybe they are struggling with anxiety. Or maybe they are struggling with a learning challenge, or ADHD, or the ability to get along with others. 

At Brain Fit Academy, we see a lot of clients that are struggling. After all, we are here to help those who struggle- it's what we do. But that also means that many of our clients aren't confident. They aren't confident about themselves. They aren't confident in their abilities and they aren't confident about the qualities that make them uniquely them.

So when I think back to my client- not being able to answer the question about setting a goal, it's because he's not confident about what he's good at, which means he isn't sure what he needs to work on either. They go hand-in-hand don't they? In order to know what you need to work on, first you need to know what you do well!

We help kids with this. We help them to see their good qualities- the things they can feel confident about. And in turn, what they might need to work on- the things they don't feel so confident about. 

One way we do this is with handy-dandy little cards that are simply called "Kid Confidence Cards". They were developed by Pam Formosa- the owner/director of Brain Fit and are very helpful in getting kids to think about confidence- what it means, and how it might look on a day-to-day basis.

In this little "deck" of cards, we have words/phrases like "ask for help", "try new things", "be independent", and "use tools that help". Then, what we do is ask the kids to sort the cards into three columns. I tell the kids the column headings are: 

• I still need to work on this
• I'm ok with this
• I've got it

Once we've established the columns, we get to work sorting the cards in the deck. And you know what happens as we sort? Conversation. Conversation around confidence. Conversation that helps my client to see all the things they are good at. And, it gives a name to things that they weren't able to name before. The things in their life where confidence is lacking. 

Self assurance- "I am good at....". 

Appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities- "Hey- I really am a great.....!".

After we've completed sorting the cards, the ones in the "I still need to work on this" column become great ideas for goals- I take a picture of their sorted cards, print it and put into their folder later on. The next time I get the shrug and the "I don't know" during goal setting? I pull that picture out of the folder and we use it to come up with a goal for the session.

Confidence is something that might be missing when I first start with a client. But one of my goals, is that by the time we're done working together they have regained that confidence. Regained the self assurance. Regained the appreciation for themselves. 

When that confidence is gained, I know that I have completed an important part of my job. It will leave a smile on my face, and- in all likelihood, a smile on theirs too.

It May Not be What You See- But What You Don't See

"She's no longer waking up at night." "He's not having melt-downs every afternoon." "She's not fighting every step of our morning routine!".

These are the types of comments we often hear from parents when their child has been working through the program at Brain Fit Academy. 

When we are working to integrate Primitive Reflexes, we tell parents that it might not be what you see that changes, but what you don't see.  

Why is that? Well let me explain. You see, unintegrated (not finished) Primitive Reflexes can cause a host of symptoms that you (and others) might not necessarily connect to, or realize, could be an indicator of a certain reflex needing work. 

Take for example, the MORO Reflex. One indicator of this reflex not being fully integrated is that someone may experience tight muscles in the back of the body. The MORO is the "fight/flight" part of the Fight/Flight/Freeze response so when the MORO is still active, it can keep the body in a constant state of fight/flight- the muscles primed and ready to fight or flee.

Now for a child, that tightness might manifest itself in the parents hearing things like "My legs hurt." or "My back hurts". If there is no apparent physical injury or reason for that pain, the parents might dismiss it as "growing pains" or a pulled muscle. But what is so interesting is that once we start to integrate the MORO reflex, that tightness lessens as the nervous system calms down and the muscles relax. 

That absence of pain happens. The parents notice that their child stopped complaining of those pains. They stopped because they no longer felt it, right? But how often do we stop to think "Is my child still in pain today?" I would hope that it's a rare time when you would need to ask that. And so, in order to help see the changes that are happening we encourage parents to look for "what is no longer there, what is no longer happening".

Another example would be the ATNR reflex. This reflex, (the Asymmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex) can contribute to an awkward pencil grip or contorted writing position. The ATNR reflex is the reflex that causes the arm and leg on one side of the body to extend when the head is turned to that side (while the limbs on the opposite side bend). So when the reflex is active, when the person turns their head, the arm wants to extend. To fight the reflex activity, the body develops compensations and that may include the awkward pencil grip or writing position. 

Work on the ATNR and what happens? The pencil grip changes, or the writing position improves. You no longer see that behavior. Again, if we don't stop to notice that change we might miss it. It's a subtle, but awesome- indicator that the ATNR is becoming more integrated!

There are so many more examples of this that I could give, but I think you get the picture. 

Integrating the Primitive Reflexes changes things. Just don't forget to look for things you don't see anymore.

Compensations

We all have them. Compensations- I'm talking about. Work-arounds. We all compensate for our weaknesses in some way or another. Some of us might use the GPS on our phones everywhere we go because we aren't good with directions. Or maybe we avoid going to certain stores because they feel too "overwhelming".

It's only natural for our brain and bodies to try and make up for what it feels like is lacking. Often times, we do it subconsciously. And usually, the compensations become so engrained in our life that we don't even realize we are doing them.

The problem is, that when our brain and body has so many compensations, it means it's taxing to the system, right? I mean if you're using a tool- such as your phone to help you get around, that's not such a bad thing. But what if you're using "work-arounds" during daily activities- multiple times a day? And maybe even just for simple things like the way you write, or the things you wear?

Let's look at an imaginary (entirely possible scenario). How do I know it's entirely possible? It's possible because we see this all the time at Brain Fit Academy. Clients that come in with compensations that are happening left and right just so they can get through the day.

So take this imaginary person- we'll call him Michael. 

Michael gets up in the morning and gets dressed-avoiding the cotton socks that are in his drawer because he doesn't like the way they feel. He eats a breakfast of only crunchy foods. Heading out for his walk to school, he avoids the street in his neighborhood that has the barking dog. And when he arrives at school he settles down with a book while the other kids play- engaging with others is hard. During the school day he wraps his feet around the legs of the chair in order to help keep himself upright and holds his pencil in whatever way he can in order to get the pencil to paper to write. 

In this scenario, Michael has used six compensations. Avoiding certain socks, eating only crunchy foods, avoiding the dog, reading so he doesn't have to engage with others, wrapping his feet around the chair and an awkward pencil grip. 

Six compensations. Six "work-arounds" that took more brain power and more energy than should be needed for those same tasks- and that isn't even a whole day!!

You see, when a persons Primitive Reflexes aren't fully integrated (finished)- compensations build up. One compensation after another is added to a person's repertoire until before you know it they are happening all day, across the day. And lots of times? The person doesn't even realize it!

In my post titled "There's Not Much Left" I talk about how the Fight/Flight/Freeze response can affect compensations. But sometimes, it's not necessarily the F/F/F response that is the big problem, but those work-arounds are still pulling brain power. Still making the person work harder than needed.

It might seem kind of strange that those early motor patterns that we went through as babies- those Primitive Reflexes, can cause so many problems later on in life if they didn't finish the job they were there to do. But the fact is, they can. And that's how the compensations start. The body needs help. The brain and body need to keep going. After all, life doesn't stop and babies grow up, so work-arounds come in.

The coolest thing though, is that we can go "back in time" and finish off those reflexes. Finish the motor patterns at any age and diminish the need for those compensations that are pulling brain power and energy. Diminish the need to "work around" every day activities. Don't you think that's awesome? I sure do. 

Who wouldn't want to make their day-to-day life easier- to give their brain and body a break? 

Your brain and body work so hard as it is- why not take compensations off its plate?

The Baby Brain

🎵🎵🎵 The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside...Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried. 🎵🎵🎵

If you've see the movie "Frozen" then you're probably familiar with this line from the song "Let it Go". It's the part in the movie when Elsa just can't keep the secret of her special ability any longer and just needs to "Let it Go."

Whenever I hear that part of the song though, it reminds me of something we teach clients about at Brain Fit. It's a theory called the Triune Brain Theory by Dr. Paul McLean. Check out this picture:

 

In this model, we look at the brain as having three levels that develop over time. At the bottom in red, is the the brain stem- or what we call the "baby brain". We call it that because it was the first to develop as a baby in utero and in the first year of life. 

The baby brain serves a few different roles. First, it's where the sensory information (apart from the sense of smell) comes in. Ideally, this information integrates like a beautiful tapestry (ever heard the term "sensory integration??) so that the brain can process the information effectively. The brain stem, or "baby brain" also governs survival mechanisms such as breathing and digestion and it is where the primitive reflexes are housed. Hmmm....where have we heard about primitive reflexes before?!?

Next, we have the part that is colored green, the "emotional brain". This is the part of the brain that houses the amygdala- that part of the brain that has an important role in handling emotions and behaviors. Hence the name- "emotional brain". The emotional brain's role is to decide whether information coming in is safe, or a "threat". If it's considered safe, neurotransmitters and hormones are released to enhance our ability to process the information at a higher level- the blue part that we call the "thinking brain". 

However, if the information that comes in is deemed a "threat"- different hormones are released and the information is diverted to the baby brain. This is when we "react" instead of "respond". In other words, the Fight/Flight/Freeze response gets activated. And- since the reflexes are housed in the baby brain, if they aren't fully integrated (or finished) it can lead to an instability in the lower part of the brain. This puts us more at risk (or vulnerable) for spending more time in that "Fight/Flight/Freeze response.

So just to review:

Red: Baby Brain,  Green: Emotional Brain,  Blue: Thinking Brain

Now you're probably thinking that this is all great information, but how exactly does this all fit in to Frozen, Elsa and a swirling storm inside?

Well you see, that green part of the brain- the emotional brain- is where that "swirling storm inside" might happen. We talk to kids (and adults alike) about how sometimes we get "stuck" in that green part of the brain. We get stuck in that emotional brain and it becomes the "swirling storm inside". 

And when that happens? What do we do? Well, we get "bopped out of the loop" for one. And please- if you don't understand that reference, I highly suggest you read this post of mine about the Learning Loop. 

But basically, instead of being able to "respond" to the information, we "react". We get upset, have a meltdown, get frustrated, withdraw- any of those behaviors that indicate that its the "baby brain" running the show, rather than the "thinking brain". Those Fight/Flight/Freeze reactions come flying in and take over, instead of letting us use our thinking brain to rationalize, reason and access our tools. 

That's why trying to talk someone through a situation when their baby brain is in control, or when they are stuck inside that "swirling storm" in the emotional brain isn't fruitful. They can't access their thoughts- or their strategies. They are down in that baby brain-just trying to survive!

The next question, of course, is to ask: "What do we do to help?" Well, a few things. First, remember that by integrating the reflexes we are strengthening the baby brain. This provides a more stable "foundation" so that when the information comes into the brain it can be processed more effectively. Secondly, we teach our clients movements that can help them to come out of the "swirling storm" of the emotional brain. Simple, intentional movements that don't require talking and can be done easily by the person as well as others that can be done when given assistance from someone else. 

I loved the movie "Frozen", I really did. But I also felt bad for Elsa. Poor thing was stuck in her emotional brain and the only thing she could do was live with that "swirling storm inside". For years...and years!

I want my clients to have ways out of that swirling storm. I want them to have ways out, and even better yet- a more stable "baby brain" in the first place so that they don't even end up in that storm in the first place!

It's possible. It happens. This work- works.

Sometimes it Just Doesn't Seem to Stick

Imagine being in a boat. It could be a row boat, or a kayak or canoe. You choose- it doesn't matter. You're rowing and rowing as hard as you can and just aren't getting anywhere- or at least, not as far as you would like.

The current is against you- you're rowing upstream and it feels almost fruitless. 

"Why?" you wonder. "I'm working so hard, surely I can make some progress against the current!"

This is what it feels like for me sometimes as a Brain Fit Academy Coach.

You see, sometimes we row upstream. Sometimes we feel like we're working and working (the family and myself) and we aren't really getting as far as we would like.

Here's why:

It's because of this triangle. 

This triangle tells us what needs to come first. 

And yes- when we do Primitive Reflex Integration, we work from "the bottom up" - working with the lower part of the brain- the brain stem. But in this triangle, see where reflex integration lies?

It's not at the very bottom- it's right there in the second layer. 

What's the bottom layer? Its Digestion and Gut Health. It's the immune system. It's the current in that river we were rowing against. 

You see, if digestion or the immune system are not working so well-or if the gut isn't healthy, it creates that current. It works against the reflex integration that we're trying to accomplish. It works against us because it causes stress to the system. 

If the brain and body system are trying to deal with an underlying physical issue, then reflex integration will continually be disrupted. It feels like you get a little way ahead, only to be pushed back again. Not for want of trying- mind you. Not at all! 

If you think about it, it's as if the body is saying to us- "Yeah, I know you need to work on those reflexes, but right now this is more important. We gotta get that other system working first!"

And so- not only can it feel like you're rowing upstream- but it might even seem like you're doing it without a paddle. And that isn't really helping anyone.

It's hard- I get it. I totally do. You want to follow through on the reflex integration piece. You know your child needs it. We know your child needs it. That fact doesn't change. If your child's reflexes aren't integrated- they will still benefit from the work- at some point... 

Just perhaps not right then. 

The bottom of that triangle needs to be taken care of first. The immune system needs to be working well. The gut and digestion need to be working well. Otherwise- we're all just heading upriver. 

Now let me tell you this. Just because you need to work on the bottom of the pyramid doesn't mean we're going to abandon you. It doesn't mean we're going to take away your paddles and leave you to row with your hands. 

We know people that can help. We know of doctors that may be able to guide you. And when you've taken care of the bottom of the pyramid? The gut and the immune system are in good shape and you are ready to come back? 

We'll be waiting for you- paddles in hand, to help you start rowing again. 

This time- with the current.

It’s All About You (them -not you)

“This is about you”, I said to my 10 year old client. You tell me when you’re ready to stop. We were doing an assisted movement (which is just like it sounds- a movement in which the child needs assistance in order to complete it) and I wanted him to know that it was up to him to tell me when he felt like he was “done”. He- his brain and body- really seemed to be enjoying the movement and I let him continue until he gave me the word that he was all set. 

Whenever I first start working with clients at Brain Fit, I make sure that they understand that the sessions are about them- for them. I want them to know that it’s not up to me to choose the activities. We rely on the body for that- using muscle checking or letting the client pick activities they are drawn to. And then once we are doing an activity or exercise how long we do it is also up to them.

I will tell you that there are certainly some children that find that kind of “freedom” a little daunting at first- especially in the beginning of coming to Brain Fit or if they are deep in the fight/flight/freeze response. In which case I would certainly help to guide them more. But generally speaking, it’s up to them to decide.

Having said all of that, I would like to add however, that this doesn’t mean the complete session is run by the child. That’s not the case. We have a structure that we follow. That structure may vary slightly depending on the age and needs of the child, but there is structure none-the-less. And giving the child choice within that structure is also important. That’s why they are allowed to choose the order of our movement time- the “work”, “play”, and “rest” portion. 

You may be wondering- why is this so important? Why is important to let the children guide the session- for them to have so much “power”? 

Well, I’ll tell you the way I see it:

First of all, we trust the body. Plain and simple- at Brain Fit Academy, we trust the body to tell us what we need to know.

Secondly, don’t kids spend the majority of their life being told what to do and how to do it? I know I’m guilty of that. As a parent- telling my kids what I would like them to do. And it certainly happens at school, right?

Brain Fit is a place where the kids learn to listen to their own bodies. They learn to tune-in to their own needs and to do what feels right for them. They start to understand what they need at that moment. And all of that- is empowering!

We are empowering and preparing kids with skills that they can used the rest of their lives. We aren’t expecting our clients to leave Brain Fit and never have a bad day or to not run into any road blocks along the way of life.

What we are doing is giving our clients the tools to enable them to listen to their own body. We are giving them the “power” and freedom to tune-in to what feels right for them at the time. And we are teaching them ways to help themselves.

We are empowering these children because it’s not about me- and it’s not about you. 

It’s about them. 

They Start to Ask

I love it when a parent tells me that their child has started to ask for some of the movements.  During my sessions with kids through Brain Fit Academy (since we are a movement based program) we do a lot of different movements.

Some of these movements are ones that my clients really enjoy and feel good to their bodies. As I wrote about in the post “The Body Knows- it Just Might Need a Reminder”, the brain and body knows what it needs. So, when we introduce children to certain movements there can be an immediate liking to them. Kids are often drawn to certain exercises and will want to do more of them.

One of the movements I find that gets requested a lot (especially at the beginnning) is one we call “milkshakes”. Milkshakes is a rhythmic movement that can have a very calming effect on the nervous system. I have had many kids that literally seem to “melt” when doing milkshakes during a session. We use the movement to help integrate the MORO reflex so it’s typically one of the first activities we do with clients. 

MORO is the “fight” part of the Fight/Flight/Freeze response and an unintegrated MORO can definitely contribute to sleep disturbances.  I guess that’s why so many kids like to do milkshakes at bedtime- it calms the system to prepare for sleep.

I know that for my own son, milkshakes is one of the movements he loved the most. He asked for it. In fact, for a long time we had a routine of about four rhythmic movements that we would do with him every night and milkshakes was number one on the list. It was a movement that always worked to calm his system and help him to sleep. 

In fact- it still does. When school started back up this year and there was a lot on his mind, he started having some difficulty sleeping. We put our milkshakes routine back into bedtime and he began sleeping better starting that first night!

Like I said- I love it when kids start asking for the movements because I know that it is their brain and body telling me (or their parents) something. They are telling us that that particular movement is what they need. They recognize on a conscious (or maybe subconscious) level that the movement is doing something to help them- even if they can’t quite articulate it. 

Part of my job as a coach, of course, is to guide the famiy with those “asks”. Helping parents to know when it is the best time to do particular movements. Teaching them how to do them with their child, and revising the plan as we go.

My client asking for movements is a start to them recognizing what they need and noticing what feels good to their system.

I encourage my clients when they ask for particular movements. 

I encourage it, I look forward to it, and I embrace it... 

How Long?

Sometimes I get asked the question "How long?" "How long do you think he/she will need Brain Fit?". 

This is a difficult question to answer but I totally get it. I'm not sure if I asked my son's coach this question but I definitely thought about it from time to time. 

I understand the question because if you're coming to Brain Fit to help your child- you want to know how long it will be until it starts to help. Starts to "work".

Here's why, for a coach, it's a difficult question to answer. First of all, everyone is different. Clients come to Brain Fit for different reasons and with different needs. We are definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of operation. We work with each person individually and in their own time.

Think about a chick for a minute. A chick still in its egg but ready to hatch. What happens if you break the egg for the chick? That's right, the chick may die, or at the very least may not thrive. It needs to work through the breaking of the egg in order to hatch correctly.

It's the same for Primitive Reflex Integration. It's a process. When a baby is working through reflexes, it takes time. It takes time for a baby and the same applies to when we "remind the body" later in life. The body needs time to work on the reflex, rest, and then work again. 

Remember, when we are doing this work, we are building new brain "highways". Neurological pathways in the brain that change the movements from "reflexive and automatic" to more "sophisticated and voluntary".  This can take time. We are working with a "plastic" changeable brain and the brain and body needs time to "lock-in" these changes.  

Now, that certainly doesn't mean we work with clients forever. In fact, it's the opposite. We want there to be a "last day" because that means that the child has done the work (and the rest and the work again). They have created those new brain highways and changes have been made.

How long is a tough question, but trust us. We want clients to trust their coach, trust the process and trust their child's body. They will be ready when they are ready. 

They will "hatch" from the egg and be better off for all the work that was put in. 

And when that day comes, it'll be worth it. I promise.

Out of the Loop

Worried. Confused. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Angry.

Ever feel any of these feelings? Yup, me too. 

Ever feel any of these feelings all at the same time?? Yup, same here.

What about your child- have they ever felt these feelings all at the same time?!?

You might call this kind of situation "stressed out", or maybe "flipping out" or "having a melt down". At Brain Fit Academy, we refer to it as being "out of the loop".  

Now, being "out of the loop" doesn't necessarily mean that you feel all those feelings I mentioned. And it doesn't necessarily mean that you feel that many at once. But those times of:

• Not being able to think because you're so upset
• Yelling or slamming doors
• Avoiding the situation that you don't want to deal with
• Crying and throwing a "tantrum"
• Feeling withdrawn and just wanting to be away from anything and everything

All of those? Well- they are when you are "out of the loop".

I know, I know, you're probably to the point in reading this where you are like- Amy, please- just tell what this "loop" that you keep talking about- is already!

So here it goes. This is the "Learning Loop":

Yup, that's the loop I keep talking about. See all those words on the outside of the "loop"? Outside of the circles? That's the outside of the loop- the "out of the loop" part of this equation.

And the inside? Well, here is where the magic is supposed to happen. You see, inside the loop is where (ideally) we want to spend our time.

There's the "Stop and Think" side. This is where- when we learn something new, we have to take time and brain power to think about it. Stop and think. We might have to take it step-by-step, like when we're doing something for the first time. I'll give you an example: When my son first went gluten free (due to a gluten sensitivity) I was in "stop and think" pretty much anytime I had to cook anything. I had to think about using separate pans and spoons as to not cross-contaminate his food. I had to make sure that I was giving him the gluten free items on the table so that he wouldn't end up eating the wrong thing and feeling sick. 

Up until that point- cooking for me had been a "move and think" type of activity. I learned to cook when I was a teenager so by the time I was an adult, I didn't have to do a whole lot of thinking when making a meal. It was familiar and I could "do it with ease". But there I was, in a new situation where cooking had to be SLOWED down, and I had to spend time in the "stop and think" side of the loop. 

Now, whenever we learn something new, we want to spend time in the "stop and think" side. We want to take our time and learn the new information, the new routine, the new skill, the new "normal" (think COVID-19!). 

But here's the thing. We don't want to get stuck. We don't want to get stuck on the "stop and think" side and not be able to get over to "move and think". And conversely, we don't want to get stuck on the "move and think" side either. We want to be able to move back and forth easily between the two sides- like a little dance.

Cue the pretty music:

Stop and Think<--->Move and Think<--->Stop and Think<--->Move and Think

Gracefully moving from one side to the other. Gracefully-just like a dance.

But what happens when we can't do that? When we can't dance gracefully from one side of the loop to the other?

Well- that's when we get bopped out. 

We get bopped "out of the loop". Remember all those feelings on the outside of the loop? The frustration, and the worry. The avoidance and the feeling of being stuck. Those are all "out of the loop" behaviors. When you (or your child, or your student or your spouse, or whomever!) are having difficulty doing that little "stop and think"/"move and think" dance- you get bopped out of the loop. And I'm sure you would agree that is generally a place where we don't want to stay!!

It's ok though, you know. It's ok that you may have gotten bopped out of the loop sometimes. It's ok because it happens to all of us from time to time. We all can go from our nice pretty "stop and think"/"move and think" dances to being out of the loop. And sometimes it can happen pretty darn fast- can't it?

Like I said however- it's ok. And you know what? There are ways. There are ways that you can get back into the loop. You may have used deep breaths before to get back into the loop. Maybe you used the "count to ten" strategy to help you get back into the loop. Maybe you just walked away and let yourself calm down. 

But for Brain Fit folks? Well, we teach a whole host of movements that can help us get back in the loop. We teach our clients movements that can help the brain access thoughts. We teach movements that help calm the body and nervous system. We teach movements that help you to cross the midline of the body so that the left and right sides of the brain can work together effectively.

We help our families learn strategies and movements that can help during those "flipping out", "stressed out",  "Out of the Loop" moments.

As for me with my "stop and think" situation with my son's food? I did my little dance between "stop and think" and "move and think" for quite awhile. And yes, I definitely spent some time "out of the loop". 

Looking back, I sure wish I had the strategies I have now. Because the one thing I know for sure? Using Brain Fit movements, those "out of the loop" times would have been a lot less difficult, and a lot less frequent. 

We're all going to find ourselves "out of the loop" sometimes- that's life. But wouldn't it be nice to have ways to get yourself back in? 

It Might be Different Than you Think

When families come to Brain Fit Academy, they tend to come with expectations about what changes they are hoping to see in their child. It's natural, of course. The reason why they came to Brain Fit in the first place is to help their child with their struggles. Those struggles might be anxiety or ADHD, dyslexia, learning challenges, sensory processing or a host of other things. 

As a coach, I also enter into the client/coach relationship with expectations that match the family. However, I have also come to learn that the changes we see during our time together may end up being different than is initially expected. And when I say different, it can quite possibly be better, more wide-reaching than was the original intent.

Why is that? Why would changes we see be so much more widespread than what a client came for? The answer is because it's all connected. 

When we work on primitive reflexes, we work on the brain from "the bottom up". We work on integrating the earliest motor patterns that started as tiny babies. But here's the thing. What you may see as being a "symptom" in your child can very well be rooted in the brain stem. 

We often use the analogy of the brain as a bucket. Take a look:

Think of the brain stem as the bottom part of the bucket- right at the base. Do you see the primitive reflexes down there? And as we move up toward the top of the bucket we have such pieces as the vestibular and proprioceptive sensory systems, then motor planning and attention. Even higher up the bucket is language and organization. And finally, right at the top- you see academics, executive functioning and social skills. 

So- what if you (or your child's teacher or therapist) observe is attention issues. Or maybe it's visual perception, or social skills. All of those are the in the levels of the brain above the brain stem. Above the bottom of the bucket. No wonder why all that work you're doing isn't really helping all that much- you're not getting to the right place! Everyone is bypassing all the levels below and not making sure the base of the brain- the brain stem- has a strong foundation.

Now, imagine that we unplug one of those primitive reflex corks in the image above. And we unplug attention, and visual perception. And then, we pour in water (which represents learning and knowledge). What's going to happen? Yup, the water is going to pour out those bottom holes, right? It's not going to get to the upper levels of the bucket. The upper levels of the brain.

Ok, now back to the original point of this post. My purpose is to tell you about how the results that we see may be different than we think. 

I said how everything is connected, right? In that bucket- let's plug up those primitive reflexes again. We work on integrating the reflexes and those holes in the bucket get filled. What happens? We can move onto the next level, and the next and the next.

We don't have to "make" this happen. It just does. It happens because the body remembers and the development continues. 

And then, well THEN! We see changes that we didn't look for going in. We often see development in the sensory systems. And we see focus and attention improve. We see emotional regulation improve. We see posture, and motor planning and executive functioning skills improve. 

Families come to Brain Fit with those expectations of what they would like to see change, but when the outcome is a little different, a little better? 

Well, all we can do is celebrate.

It's Not Rocket Science

When parents (or teachers or therapists) first start to learn about Primitive Reflex Integration, it might seem a little daunting. It can seem like a lot of information, but let me tell you a few things:

First:

It's so worth learning about.

Second:

It's not rocket science.

When you take it down to it's most basic level, what you are doing when you work on primitive reflexes is getting to the root cause. You're working on the part of the brain that is the first to develop (the brain stem) and integrating the brain and body so that both can perform better- more easily.

And the reason why I say it's not "rocket science"? Well, the reason is because reflex integration is just movements. It's different activities, exercises, movements- whatever you want to call them, that can change the brain. They change the brain because they continue the work wherever the reflex got "stuck" or "interrupted" and help the brain and body to integrate (or finish) the innate movement patterns that all of us have as babies.

So when you stop to think about it, movements aren't that hard to learn, right? Have you ever learned a new dance, or an exercise routine at the gym? If so, then you can learn how to do Primitive Reflex Integration. 

Yes, there is information about the reflexes that you may want to learn. And yes, understanding the patterns can help you to recognize them in your children or in children you work with. But ultimately? It's not that difficult and it's not as complicated as it might seem. You don't need to be a therapist, or a doctor. You don't even need to be a parent. You just need to have the willingness to think "outside the box" and be open to a different way of looking at challenges.

At Brain Fit Academy, we help families to "trust the process". In other words, understand that what we do might not always seem straight forward, but to trust that it works. We may have your child doing an activity that seems like it is unrelated to their issue, but because we understand how primitive reflexes affect different areas, we target the reflex that is at the root of the problem. That's why it can look different from other therapies you may have tried before. 

I can tell you that as a parent whose child went through the program, I wasn't quite sure about everything in the beginning either. I would watch my coach working with my son and would ask questions now and again, but it wasn't really until I went to the 3 day adult class and started learning more about the reflexes (and experiencing them myself!) that it became easier to "trust the process". 

After all, knowledge is power, right? And like I said, Primitive Reflex Integration isn't rocket science. When I took the time in my schedule to delve more deeply into the learning, not only did I make more and more connections to my son, I also made more and more connections to myself! In return, I understood why behaviors were happening with my son, I understood why behaviors were happening with me and the progression for both of us took off!

Learning about Primitive Reflex Integration can seem a little daunting to some. It can seem like there's a lot of information. But remember this- it's totally worth it, and it's not rocket science.

What it is, is a way to understand your child (or children you work with) others in your family, and yes, even yourself!