The New "Normal"

It stinks.

There, I said it.  This new "normal" just stinks.  

This is where I'm at on July 30th, 2020, and I'm sure many of you are right here with me. 

And to think about the "going back to school" thing? Forget it! I get a tight feeling in my chest when I even open emails from my children's school because I don't know what anxiety-provoking information they might contain!

I get where you are.  I understand it because I am going through it too. I am a mom of two teens, one of them on the Autism Spectrum. I am also a teacher (on a self-chosen leave for the 20-21 school year-see this post to find out why) And I'm a coach- at Brain Fit Academy, but if you follow my blog you would already know that!

In thinking about this new normal- this new, weird, scary, normal, I wanted to chime in about Brain Fit. I'm chiming in because I know stuff.  I'm a coach at Brain Fit too- remember? So I know stuff.

What kind of stuff you might ask? It's kind of like I have this inside information. Information as to what they do at Brain Fit Academy.  Oh wait- I DO have that information because I work there!

But here's the thing. 

As I think about my own anxieties coming up- my own worries, and what I need help with- without a doubt- I know that Brain Fit can help me (and others like me) with:

• Helping shift this lump in my throat when I think about school starting soon.

• The heaviness I feel when I worry about how much my Autistic son missed of his learning and wondering how he'll ever catch up.

• The anger when I think about how I’m going to have to become my son's advocate again to make sure he gets the services he needs.

• The sinking feeling when I think about how there’s no good answer to going back to school.  Every plan has its benefits and drawbacks.

• Being sure that (all of my family) has the flexibility and resilience to move through this new normal.

• Transitioning back to school with tools and support to help us on a day-to-day basis.

• Access to kind, caring coaches that lend an ear and understand because many of them are also going through it!

• Giving my children tools to help them focus and learn- whether they are remote, in-person or a mix of the two!

• Providing a program that gives emotional support not only for my child, but for me too.

It kind of sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? But it's not. This is Brain Fit Academy. This is what we do- in fact, this is only a sampling of what we do.  This is just what I'm looking for help with right now.  And, I'm sure that many of you are looking for the same type of support!

Brain Fit has tools.  Brain Fit has caring coaches that "get it". Brain Fit provides support and resources that "think outside the box" and work.

This new normal stinks.  But with Brain Fit as a partner, it can be a lot better.  And if the new normal is a lot better, my family and I (and yours too!) will move through it easier and come out on the other side in much better shape. 

 

Seriously, what have you got to lose?

Goals

Goal.

It's number 2 on our "schedule" for sessions with clients- right after our Brain Gym® settling in activity called PACE. 

Why is a goal the first thing we start with after we settle in to the session? We set goals because- you can't change what you don't acknowledge.

Let me say that again. You can't change, what you don't acknowledge.  

If you want to make a change- any kind of change, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge that there's something there to change, right?

Now, I will tell you, that sometimes setting goals- especially with kids- can be challenging.  Some kids can find it very difficult to come up with meaningful goals.  And so, I help them.  

• We might talk about what's going on in their life. 
• We might talk about events they have coming up that might make for a good goal. 
• We might talk about things in their life that are important to them, such as sports or hobbies and come up with a goal around that. 
• And sometimes, the goal might just be to work on a particular reflex, or around a toy- such as "How many times can I hit the ping-pong ball without stopping?"

Whatever shape the goal takes, we always have one because, of course- we can't change what we don't acknowledge!

So, now you may be thinking- great, you have a goal. Now what? What do you do once you have a goal? 

Well- that's where the rest of the session comes in of course!  Once we have a goal, we figure out what we need to do to organize the brain and body around that goal.  

Do we need to address a reflex? Do we need to look at something different perhaps, like one of the 6 emotional needs? Do we need to look deeper, at belief systems for example? This stage is what we call "noticing" and it deserves its own blog post for sure!

Either way, we need a goal so that the work (and play!) we do during the session helps the client to be prepared for that goal. 

To be ready to try it-

Take it on- 

Change something-

Whatever it is that's needed to fit that goal.

And so, our session then becomes centered around that goal. The goal is the intention (if you will) for the session.  We "notice", "work", "rest" and "play", all with a conscious intention of addressing the goal we set at the beginning. Everything revolves around that goal.

As we move through the session, the client (the child, teen or adult) is guided to the appropriate activities through muscle checking (AKA applied kinesiology). Or, depending on the client, it might be by just letting the client choose activities that they are "drawn to". 

But, whatever activities we figure out, we always, always, move our bodies.  We move during "work", we move during "play" and we move during "rest". Specific, intentional movements with that goal in mind.

Now, depending on the client, the results of addressing a goal might get at some deep rooted emotions, like the time I talk about in my previous post titled "There's Smiles but There's Also Tears". In these cases, we may see a very significant shift in a client. A big jump or change in their treatment- perhaps even a "tipping point".

And sometimes, it might just be that we see a difference in how well the client is able to take on the toy challenge they came up with.  Or maybe, we notice how addressing that goal helped them during the week and we discuss it during the next session. In any case, there is still a goal, and there is still change.

Goals are important at Brain Fit.  Really important. And acknowledging that there's something that needs changing is the first step.

After all....you can't change what don't acknowledge.

And without change, we would just stay stuck- and who wants that?!?

Everyone is so Different

"Are the challenges similar, among the kids at Brain Fit?" a family member recently asked me.

I immediately answered "no" and as I started to think about the different clients I work with I realized that although there are definitely some similar things about them, generally-everyone is so different!

Now, I'm not talking about different personality-wise, that is a given since they are all different kids.  And of course, we work with different ages, so at the moment I have five-year-olds all the way through to teenagers- adults can be seen too! But that's not what I'm talking about either. What I'm talking about is the difference in their needs.  

All these kids were brought to Brain Fit Academy by their parents because they are struggling with something.  But the "somethings" are so different.

It may be anxiety that they working on calming.  

Or maybe it's sensory issues.  

Or maybe it's balance and coordination, or learning challenges.  

Or- maybe it's a combination of all of the above or even something else entirely!

It doesn't really matter the exact reason why they came to Brain Fit.  What's amazing to me (when I stop to think about it) is that our program can service, can help- this wide range of needs.  Everyone is so different but the work we do at Brain Fit is so individualized that we can help so many clients with such different needs!

In order to understand this a little better, I think you need to understand how widely unintegrated reflexes can affect a person:

Unintegrated (active) primitive reflexes can cause a myriad of issues. From fears, to sensory issues, to balance, coordination, handwriting, sitting still, attention, focus, reading, sleeping, confidence....Oh my- I could continue on, but I think you get the picture! 

So, when you start to think about all of these ways that kids, teens and even adults can be impacted it's no wonder that we have clients that can be so different from each other!

And you know what? I think that is just really awesome.  The fact that I work for a company that can service so many kids and families, with so many different needs! And, that the owner/director (Pam Formosa) and myself, as well as the other Brain Fit Academy coaches see positive changes with (I dare say) all of those clients.  They come to us with so many varying needs, and our program works for all of them- in some capacity or another. We aren't a "one-size-fits-all" program.  It's more like a "one-program-is-individualized-to-help-anyone" type of deal.

Yes, everyone is so different.  

Yes, they come to us with different needs. 

Yes, we enjoy the challenge of working with such different kids.  

And yes...the program has the potential (and ability) to help all those who pass through our door!

It truly is a rewarding experience to be able to see changes with clients- different changes, based on different needs, but changes none-the-less.

Everyone is so different, but we love it.  Come to us with your differences...

We welcome you and want to help. 

You Can Change the Story

We all have a story.  

The story of our life.  

It begins and ends with us. 

It takes twists and turns based on choices we make.

But did you know, that you can change the story? You can change the way you look at things and often, when you do- things can change.

Really looking at things differently for me began when my youngest son was diagnosed with Autism.  When he was around five, I was sitting in an auditorium with a friend at an informational session about Kindergarten.  This friend happened to have a child with similar challenges to my son and we would often discuss ways to help them.  This particular time she mentioned to me that she was going to try a gluten-free diet with her son because she heard that it can help with the symptoms of Autism.  I was intrigued and inquired more.  

That conversation, that choice to "change the way I looked at things" started myself, my son and the rest of my family on a new journey- of treating my son's symptoms by looking at the body as a whole.

Now, I understand that some of you reading this may be thinking that treating Autism in this way doesn't work, and I still respect you and your opinion.  But I know, that for us- for my son- it helped tremendously. So please let's just "agree to disagree" if you are one of those people.

Regardless, I use that analogy to illustrate the fact that you CAN change the story- no matter how stuck you might feel at the time!

Fast-forward to today.  

Today, I sit in a different place in my life, and am coming at this idea from another, different, perspective.  I am looking at the ability to "change the story" from the perspective of a Brain Fit Academy coach.

As a Brain Fit Coach, I have learned that stories- many stories can be changed.

 

Adult stories can be changed. 

Kid stories can be changed.

Teen stories can...be...changed.

If you've read any of my other blog posts, you'll know that at Brain Fit we use a variety of different tools to help "change stories".  Which tools we use aren't important for this post.  The fact that they work is. 

We learn and teach movement tools to kids, families, adults, teachers, professionals- anyone that would like to learn.  Anyone that might be looking to change their story- or the story of someone close- like their child, or someone they work with- like their students.

The fact is, people come to Brain Fit because they are struggling in some (or multiple) ways.  We help them. To the best of our knowledge and expertise, we help them!

And those clients who come to us? Those people? Many, many change their story because they were willing to "look at things a little differently". 

And when you do that- are open to changing the way you look at things...the things you look at also change. 

And that's where the beauty lies.

Primal

"This felt different to me. It felt deeply engrained. Like on a primal level she felt too vulnerable lying in that chair having somebody tower over her in her mouth."

Those are the words of the mother of one of my clients at Brain Fit Academy.  She recently wrote a testimonial for us because she was in such awe as to how well her daughter's recent dentist appointment had gone.

Those words reflect how she thought her daughter used to feel when going to the dentist.

Going to the dentist.  Think about that.

USED to feel.  Think about that!

Now, I know that going to the dentist probably isn't the favorite activity of most 5-6 year olds.  Or even adults for that matter.

But this particular child- this little one, was PETRIFIED. Her mother wasn't even able to get her to lie back in the dentist chair, let alone have anyone work in her mouth!

And she tried- oh, did she try! Her mother wrote:

"She had gone to three appointments without being able to get a cleaning because her anxiety was so high. Prior to finding out about Brain Fit, I relied on my own knowledge and skills based on my clinical training as a social worker. I tried play therapy, we role played, I let her be the dentist and me be the patient, I gave her incentives, I brought puppets to the dentist office…I even booked extra time at the dentist so that we could work through her fears. But unfortunately, none of that worked."

Her mother was working so hard against something that is primal. In fact, it's one of the most primitive responses humans have- the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response.  This automatic, built-in system, is designed to protect us and keep us safe- at the most primitive, primal level. It's the same system that produces chemicals like adrenaline in our body and adjusts blood flow to help us to:

FIGHT

FLIGHT (run)

or FREEZE

From danger- real danger.

However- for this client, this small child- her brain and body was mistaking the dentist as a danger!

A real danger-

A threat-to-her-survival type danger!

And so- her mother was absolutely correct.  The response she saw- the response the staff at the dental office witnessed- WAS a primal response. A Fight/Flight/Freeze Response.

So, what happened? What was the change that was so great this time around?

The mother wrote:

"Today, I brought my daughter to her dentist appointment. She skipped into the office with a smile on her face, hopped on the chair, chatted it up with the hygienist and completed a full exam and cleaning without a moment of hesitation. She also got her first set of x-rays and didn’t even hesitate when I couldn’t be in the room. I was BLOWN AWAY. So was the staff!"

That's right.  You read that correctly.  She skipped into her appointment.  She completed the exam without a moment of hesitation.

Seven months of working with this child on a weekly basis (with online parent consults during COVID-19 lockdown) and she was able to go to the dentist for a routine cleaning.  Seven months of working on integrating Primitive Reflexes (most notably the Fear Paralysis and MORO reflexes) and we were able to move her out of that most primitive, primal response.

Using movement activities, we helped her brain and body system to better be able to distinguish between a real threat to her survival and a perceived threat.

This little girl had, in her mother's words, a "remarkable transformation".

I love this work, and I love getting testimonials like this because it reminds me what a difference we can make in the lives of our clients.

The work is simple, intentional movements, but the changes seen can be "remarkable".

Connection

There's a one-on-one connection with my clients that I think is very special. As I've mentioned before, I've worked with children most of my life in some capacity or another but this type of connection is different.

As a public school teacher, I would make connections with my students- as all teachers do.  But when you have 18-20 students (or more- which I know is very common) you just can't make the same connection with a child as when you see them on a one-to-one basis. And, when I became a specialist teacher- teaching technology to 4th and 5th graders, I would see 250+ students a week, so getting to know any one child at a deeper level was hard- to say the least!

When I first started as a coach at Brain Fit, this connection is one of the things I really enjoyed.  Getting to know the child better and really developing a relationship with them.

You see, when I'm doing this work, I'm also bonding with the child. 

We bond when we play together.  

We bond when we are on the floor together doing movements that 

the child has picked.  

We bond when we are creating goals.  

We bond when we are sharing things about ourselves and chatting.

I often find myself making connections with kids related to things I used to do as a child.  I tell them about how I used to play in a creek near my house.  I tell them about things I used to be afraid of when we are talking about their fears.  I tell them about my favorite childhood toys and about the arguments I had with my older brother.

The other thing is, not only do we make a connection with the child, but with the parent(s) as well.  We're going into their home to work with their child- helping them during a vulnerable time in their life and supporting them as well!

It's a bond and a connection that can't be replicated in other work.  At least, it hasn't been for me.

And so- I continue to create the connections. I get down on the ground and crawl, and pretend to be a dog with a child.  I play with my clients using various simple toys and work in Primitive Reflex integration movements.  I talk with older kids and share my own experiences- to help them to understand their feelings and boost their self-esteem using goals and intentional movements. I teach my clients Brain Gym® and Rhythmic Movements and we learn and grow together.

Sharing, and playing, and laughing and moving.  It's all connection- and it's a huge part of the work we do at Brain Fit Academy.

Enjoying the connection, the bond- is what makes me miss my clients when I don't see them for a little while and it's a huge part of what I look forward to when I have sessions scheduled for a particular day.

These same connections are what bring the smiles to my face, and the tears of joy to my eyes. 

This type of connection with children is something that I was really missing.

And now, I've found it.

Isn't Everything Supposed To Go Right?

Isn't everything supposed to go right? I mean, not everything goes right- I get that. And I know that life is full of ups and downs. 

But when you have a child, you assume things will go right- at least, that was my assumption when I had children.

And I suppose, there could always be (way in the back of your mind) the worry that something wouldn't go (or be) "right" but we continue on with life and kind of forget about that worry.

But then, something happens. Something unexpected and not "right". 

For me, that something was a diagnosis. A heart-stopping, beat-you-to-the-ground kind of diagnosis. My youngest son was given a diagnosis of Autism- when he was two years old.

Maybe you've experienced something similar. Or maybe it wasn't a diagnosis of Autism, but one of a medical condition, or anxiety, or any kind of "something" that made you stop everything, and re-think everything about your life or your child's life. 

You know what happened to me when I experienced the "not right"? I focused on a plan- I over-focused. I started doing anything and everything I could do help him. I stayed up late at night to research. I poured over articles for hours to get glimpses of information. I fought hard to get him ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) as soon as possible through Early Intervention. I even sat in on ABA sessions when he was two years old so that I could learn as much as I could-  putting my older son (only 3 1/2 at the time) on the computer to play a game or watch a movie so that I could attend. I found out about natural treatments for Autism such as diet changes and addressing food allergies and sensitivities. My son and ways to help him became the focus of my life- for over 10 years.

So- for all of you reading this right now that are thinking "Hey- that's me!" 

I get it. I hear you. I was there.  

But here's the thing. When I brought my son to Brain Fit Academy, and started attending classes myself (as I talk about in some of my other blog posts) I learned about just how much I was over-focusing. I learned that being so focused on one thing, one situation, one person, isn't the best thing to do.  I came to realize just how much stress I was putting myself under and how that wasn't allowing me to see the "big picture".

• Do we have times in our lives where we may need to put all our effort into one thing for awhile? Yes, of course.  
• Do we have times in our lives when we need help or we may need to seek help for our children? Yes, absolutely. 
• Do we all want what is best for our children? Who could deny that? 

But if that over-focusing- that head-first, "into the fire" type of behavior continues, it can be the detriment of all around us.

When Brain Fit came into my life, did it help my son? Yes, for sure. Did it help me? Absolutely.

Now, I'm more balanced in my day to day life. I'm better able to put things in perspective and I remember to take care of myself too.

Is my life perfect? No- is it ever, really for anyone? But it is better. It's easier for me, it's easier for my son, and it's easier for the rest of my family. 

Apparently, not everything goes right. 

But with some help, with some understanding and learning and support, things can be better, can get better, and everyone will be better off for it.

Continuous Learning

I know this isn't everyone's game, but I enjoy learning new things.  New experiences, working and expanding my brain, trying out things I've never done before- it's fun for me. I was just at a training yesterday, and throughly enjoyed it!

Since working at Brain Fit Academy as a coach, I've had ample opportunities to learn new things.  Formally, I've learned about Primitive Reflex Integration, Brain Gym® and the Six Human Needs. And informally, I've learned about working with families, building relationships in different ways with kids and families, and even some information about the way businesses operate (entirely new to me-being a teacher!). These things I've mentioned is not a complete list either- so many things I can't even bring them all to mind!

At Brain Fit, it's not only the coaches that spend time learning.  

The kids learn, the parents learn and professionals learn also.  

You see- during sessions, parents are able to learn from the coaches.  We teach them about the reflexes we are working on with their children.  We teach them about the movements and how they can help their child.  We teach them about ways to work with their child at home and how to carry over the Brain Fit philosophies into their home.

The clients themselves (be they kids, teens or adults) also learn.  We teach them to notice their own bodies and how they move and feel. We teach them about the parts of the brain and how they affect behavior. We teach them about the Primitive Reflexes they are working on.  All of this, in a language and with vocabulary appropriate for the age of the client. 

We also offer adult classes at Brain Fit. Here, parents (like how I started) or professionals such as teachers or occupational therapists (really- anyone interested in learning!) can delve deeper into Primitive Reflexes and Brain Gym®. Or, perhaps learn about the 6 Basic Human Needs and how they affect behavior.  Adults can also gain access to such things as recorded webinars (coming soon!) that can help them, help their children (or themselves)!

In addition, we are also adding new videos to our YouTube Channel all the time- expanding upon the ways people can learn from us. We have 90 min. "Teddy Talks" and guided balances as well as informational videos and testimonials too!

Continuous learning- lifelong learning- can be an amazing way to expand your knowledge, broaden your horizons, and help those that you care about. 

If you are interested in learning more from Brain Fit Academy, we welcome you. 

We've got a lot of knowledge to share- come visit us!