It's Not About Me- But it WAS About Me.

"How are you feeling- about going into client's homes?" Pam asked me as we walked up to a client's front door. "Good!" I replied. "If you asked me that question six months ago, I'm not sure I would have had the same answer, but I'm good!". 

Pam Formosa is the owner/director of Brain Fit Academy, and I had recently started as a Brain Fit Coach.  This conversation took place outside one of my first few client's homes when she was coming to overlap with me for a session as part of my training.

That short little discussion really got me thinking though.  I meant what I said- that six months ago my answer probably would have been different.  Like so many others that come through Brain Fit Academy- kids and adults alike, I had some anxiety and nervousness with certain situations.  For me, going into new environments, with new people, was not something I was a fan of. I wasn't a fan because I knew that I wouldn't be comfortable...

-I knew that it was hard for me to start a conversation with people that I didn't know.

-I knew that meeting new people and going into an unfamiliar situation made me uneasy.

-I knew that I generally shied away from many forms of social interaction.

But that day, as I was walking up to that house, I felt confident.  Yes, I was a little nervous, but no more than anyone would be when starting something new. I was confident, and happy and proud of where I was at that moment.

So- why the difference from six months before?

It's because I had worked on me. 

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I came to Brain Fit because of my son, but the (unexpected) side-effect that happened is that I also changed.  When I started attending the adult classes, not only did we learn how to do the work with kids, but we also applied the movements to ourselves. I went to the classes and worked through so many of my own challenges!

• I worked on integrating (finishing) many of my own primitive reflexes- learning about myself in the process.
• I became more aware of the way I dealt with my family and learned better how to "respond" instead of "react". 
• I started to feel:
• More comfortable in my own body
• More confident in my talents and abilities
• And just generally- more happy!!

So crazy how this world works.  How it leads us to all the places we need to go- even when we didn't even know we needed it.

For me- Brain Fit Academy was that place.

Many people tell me I've changed.  But really, I've just found myself.  

And the funny thing is? I didn't even realize that I was lost...

 

 

 

Fear oh Fear oh Fear.

Deer are beautiful, majestic animals, aren't they?  Sleek bodies, stealthy stride and deep, mysterious eyes.  But what happens when deer are afraid? The "deer in the headlights look" we call it.  

 

The sleek body-frozen

That stealthy stride- stopped in its tracks.

The eyes- a blank stare.

So too- can a child have that look.  That "deer in the headlights look". You probably know someone that gets that look.  Maybe it's your child, a friend's child, or maybe it's even you! Does it happen when they are facing a test? Does it happen when they are in a new environment? Does it happen when a friendly person just simply says "Hello!"?

What is it about this look- this fear? Where does it come from?

I know... 

It comes from one of the most primitive responses humans have- the Fight/Flight/Freeze response.  Recognize that last word? Freeze?? 

That's right- that "deer in the headlights" look can stem from an unintegrated (not finished) Fear Paralysis Reflex- the "freeze" in the Fight/Flight/Freeze.  Meant to protect the mother and fetus during times of stress, this early reflex should complete its job before a baby is even born- giving way to more sophisticated reflexes.  

However, if the Fear Paralysis Reflex doesn't integrate, doesn't finish its job- a child can grow up with difficulties that can make life...make joy...a lot harder.  Difficulties like:

• Low tolerance for stress
• Illogical fears
• Sleeping difficulties
• Constant feelings of being overwhelmed
• And yes, even possibly that "deer in the headlights look" when someone simply says "Hello!"

Here's the thing though.  We can do something about it!  We can take the body "back in time" and finish that Fear Paralysis Reflex.  Using intentional movements, we can pick it up where it left off and finish it.  

And what does that do? It helps that frozen, stopped in their tracks, blank stare child to become-

The stealthy, sleek, beautiful being they are meant to be...

Watch this video for more information.

And visit us at BrainFitAcademy.com 

 

The Smiles are the Reward

-Nothing is more beautiful than a real smile that has struggled through tears.

There were smiles all around as he and his mother told me the news.  He was sleeping in his own room for the first time in over two years!  This ten year old boy had been working with me for about 4-5 months at the time and had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor of his parents bedroom because he was too scared to sleep alone.   

What kind of work had we been doing? We'd been working on something called "Primitive Reflex Integration". "Primitive Reflexes" are early motor patterns that are present in utero through the first few years of life. "Integration" refers to the finishing or completing these movement patterns to make way for more sophisticated, voluntary movements and higher functioning reflexes.  At Brain Fit Academy, we help kids work through these early motor patterns using movement.  More specifically, with this child, I had been using intentional movement to integrate what is known as the Fear Paralysis Reflex.

🤔 Now, you might be saying to yourself- "Wait, she said that those primitive reflexes are present in utero through the first few years of life- so why is a ten year old boy working on that?" 

Although I can't tell you exactly why, I can tell you this...sometimes, for various reasons, primitive reflexes don't "integrate" or finish, when they are supposed to, or they get "stuck". Sometimes, this may be because of lack of movement as a baby, or maybe it has to do with a trauma to the mother or baby.  There are many possible reasons (some that we may never be able to identify).  But here is what I know for sure. When you work to integrate these early motor patterns, things change.

Kids (and adults) can go from:

• Scared- to more comfortable
• Shy to confident 
• Sad to joyful!

 

Joyful- the smiles.  

The smiles all around are what melted my heart.  The smiles all around are what made me know that I needed to continue with this work.  The smiles are what brought tears of joy to my eyes.

This boy- this ten year old boy, that I was working with was now feeling comfortable enough to sleep in his own room- something he hadn't been able to do in a long, long time.  

The work, is Primitive Reflex Integration.  

The rewards, are the smiles.