Out of the Loop

Worried. Confused. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Angry.

Ever feel any of these feelings? Yup, me too. 

Ever feel any of these feelings all at the same time?? Yup, same here.

What about your child- have they ever felt these feelings all at the same time?!?

You might call this kind of situation "stressed out", or maybe "flipping out" or "having a melt down". At Brain Fit Academy, we refer to it as being "out of the loop".  

Now, being "out of the loop" doesn't necessarily mean that you feel all those feelings I mentioned. And it doesn't necessarily mean that you feel that many at once. But those times of:

• Not being able to think because you're so upset
• Yelling or slamming doors
• Avoiding the situation that you don't want to deal with
• Crying and throwing a "tantrum"
• Feeling withdrawn and just wanting to be away from anything and everything

All of those? Well- they are when you are "out of the loop".

I know, I know, you're probably to the point in reading this where you are like- Amy, please- just tell what this "loop" that you keep talking about- is already!

So here it goes. This is the "Learning Loop":

Yup, that's the loop I keep talking about. See all those words on the outside of the "loop"? Outside of the circles? That's the outside of the loop- the "out of the loop" part of this equation.

And the inside? Well, here is where the magic is supposed to happen. You see, inside the loop is where (ideally) we want to spend our time.

There's the "Stop and Think" side. This is where- when we learn something new, we have to take time and brain power to think about it. Stop and think. We might have to take it step-by-step, like when we're doing something for the first time. I'll give you an example: When my son first went gluten free (due to a gluten sensitivity) I was in "stop and think" pretty much anytime I had to cook anything. I had to think about using separate pans and spoons as to not cross-contaminate his food. I had to make sure that I was giving him the gluten free items on the table so that he wouldn't end up eating the wrong thing and feeling sick. 

Up until that point- cooking for me had been a "move and think" type of activity. I learned to cook when I was a teenager so by the time I was an adult, I didn't have to do a whole lot of thinking when making a meal. It was familiar and I could "do it with ease". But there I was, in a new situation where cooking had to be SLOWED down, and I had to spend time in the "stop and think" side of the loop. 

Now, whenever we learn something new, we want to spend time in the "stop and think" side. We want to take our time and learn the new information, the new routine, the new skill, the new "normal" (think COVID-19!). 

But here's the thing. We don't want to get stuck. We don't want to get stuck on the "stop and think" side and not be able to get over to "move and think". And conversely, we don't want to get stuck on the "move and think" side either. We want to be able to move back and forth easily between the two sides- like a little dance.

Cue the pretty music:

Stop and Think<--->Move and Think<--->Stop and Think<--->Move and Think

Gracefully moving from one side to the other. Gracefully-just like a dance.

But what happens when we can't do that? When we can't dance gracefully from one side of the loop to the other?

Well- that's when we get bopped out. 

We get bopped "out of the loop". Remember all those feelings on the outside of the loop? The frustration, and the worry. The avoidance and the feeling of being stuck. Those are all "out of the loop" behaviors. When you (or your child, or your student or your spouse, or whomever!) are having difficulty doing that little "stop and think"/"move and think" dance- you get bopped out of the loop. And I'm sure you would agree that is generally a place where we don't want to stay!!

It's ok though, you know. It's ok that you may have gotten bopped out of the loop sometimes. It's ok because it happens to all of us from time to time. We all can go from our nice pretty "stop and think"/"move and think" dances to being out of the loop. And sometimes it can happen pretty darn fast- can't it?

Like I said however- it's ok. And you know what? There are ways. There are ways that you can get back into the loop. You may have used deep breaths before to get back into the loop. Maybe you used the "count to ten" strategy to help you get back into the loop. Maybe you just walked away and let yourself calm down. 

But for Brain Fit folks? Well, we teach a whole host of movements that can help us get back in the loop. We teach our clients movements that can help the brain access thoughts. We teach movements that help calm the body and nervous system. We teach movements that help you to cross the midline of the body so that the left and right sides of the brain can work together effectively.

We help our families learn strategies and movements that can help during those "flipping out", "stressed out",  "Out of the Loop" moments.

As for me with my "stop and think" situation with my son's food? I did my little dance between "stop and think" and "move and think" for quite awhile. And yes, I definitely spent some time "out of the loop". 

Looking back, I sure wish I had the strategies I have now. Because the one thing I know for sure? Using Brain Fit movements, those "out of the loop" times would have been a lot less difficult, and a lot less frequent. 

We're all going to find ourselves "out of the loop" sometimes- that's life. But wouldn't it be nice to have ways to get yourself back in? 

It Might be Different Than you Think

When families come to Brain Fit Academy, they tend to come with expectations about what changes they are hoping to see in their child. It's natural, of course. The reason why they came to Brain Fit in the first place is to help their child with their struggles. Those struggles might be anxiety or ADHD, dyslexia, learning challenges, sensory processing or a host of other things. 

As a coach, I also enter into the client/coach relationship with expectations that match the family. However, I have also come to learn that the changes we see during our time together may end up being different than is initially expected. And when I say different, it can quite possibly be better, more wide-reaching than was the original intent.

Why is that? Why would changes we see be so much more widespread than what a client came for? The answer is because it's all connected. 

When we work on primitive reflexes, we work on the brain from "the bottom up". We work on integrating the earliest motor patterns that started as tiny babies. But here's the thing. What you may see as being a "symptom" in your child can very well be rooted in the brain stem. 

We often use the analogy of the brain as a bucket. Take a look:

Think of the brain stem as the bottom part of the bucket- right at the base. Do you see the primitive reflexes down there? And as we move up toward the top of the bucket we have such pieces as the vestibular and proprioceptive sensory systems, then motor planning and attention. Even higher up the bucket is language and organization. And finally, right at the top- you see academics, executive functioning and social skills. 

So- what if you (or your child's teacher or therapist) observe is attention issues. Or maybe it's visual perception, or social skills. All of those are the in the levels of the brain above the brain stem. Above the bottom of the bucket. No wonder why all that work you're doing isn't really helping all that much- you're not getting to the right place! Everyone is bypassing all the levels below and not making sure the base of the brain- the brain stem- has a strong foundation.

Now, imagine that we unplug one of those primitive reflex corks in the image above. And we unplug attention, and visual perception. And then, we pour in water (which represents learning and knowledge). What's going to happen? Yup, the water is going to pour out those bottom holes, right? It's not going to get to the upper levels of the bucket. The upper levels of the brain.

Ok, now back to the original point of this post. My purpose is to tell you about how the results that we see may be different than we think. 

I said how everything is connected, right? In that bucket- let's plug up those primitive reflexes again. We work on integrating the reflexes and those holes in the bucket get filled. What happens? We can move onto the next level, and the next and the next.

We don't have to "make" this happen. It just does. It happens because the body remembers and the development continues. 

And then, well THEN! We see changes that we didn't look for going in. We often see development in the sensory systems. And we see focus and attention improve. We see emotional regulation improve. We see posture, and motor planning and executive functioning skills improve. 

Families come to Brain Fit with those expectations of what they would like to see change, but when the outcome is a little different, a little better? 

Well, all we can do is celebrate.

It's Not Rocket Science

When parents (or teachers or therapists) first start to learn about Primitive Reflex Integration, it might seem a little daunting. It can seem like a lot of information, but let me tell you a few things:

First:

It's so worth learning about.

Second:

It's not rocket science.

When you take it down to it's most basic level, what you are doing when you work on primitive reflexes is getting to the root cause. You're working on the part of the brain that is the first to develop (the brain stem) and integrating the brain and body so that both can perform better- more easily.

And the reason why I say it's not "rocket science"? Well, the reason is because reflex integration is just movements. It's different activities, exercises, movements- whatever you want to call them, that can change the brain. They change the brain because they continue the work wherever the reflex got "stuck" or "interrupted" and help the brain and body to integrate (or finish) the innate movement patterns that all of us have as babies.

So when you stop to think about it, movements aren't that hard to learn, right? Have you ever learned a new dance, or an exercise routine at the gym? If so, then you can learn how to do Primitive Reflex Integration. 

Yes, there is information about the reflexes that you may want to learn. And yes, understanding the patterns can help you to recognize them in your children or in children you work with. But ultimately? It's not that difficult and it's not as complicated as it might seem. You don't need to be a therapist, or a doctor. You don't even need to be a parent. You just need to have the willingness to think "outside the box" and be open to a different way of looking at challenges.

At Brain Fit Academy, we help families to "trust the process". In other words, understand that what we do might not always seem straight forward, but to trust that it works. We may have your child doing an activity that seems like it is unrelated to their issue, but because we understand how primitive reflexes affect different areas, we target the reflex that is at the root of the problem. That's why it can look different from other therapies you may have tried before. 

I can tell you that as a parent whose child went through the program, I wasn't quite sure about everything in the beginning either. I would watch my coach working with my son and would ask questions now and again, but it wasn't really until I went to the 3 day adult class and started learning more about the reflexes (and experiencing them myself!) that it became easier to "trust the process". 

After all, knowledge is power, right? And like I said, Primitive Reflex Integration isn't rocket science. When I took the time in my schedule to delve more deeply into the learning, not only did I make more and more connections to my son, I also made more and more connections to myself! In return, I understood why behaviors were happening with my son, I understood why behaviors were happening with me and the progression for both of us took off!

Learning about Primitive Reflex Integration can seem a little daunting to some. It can seem like there's a lot of information. But remember this- it's totally worth it, and it's not rocket science.

What it is, is a way to understand your child (or children you work with) others in your family, and yes, even yourself!